Arranged marriages: more successful or have the same success rate as love marriages?
Is it true that ARRANGEMENT marriages have a higher SUCCESS rate than LOVE marriages?
Marriage defines not only the social union between a man and a woman, but also the reintegration between two families. Most Western societies tend to deride arranged marriages as backward, uncivilized, primitive and seen as business arrangements made to join families for reasons of economic and social status.
India is a country where many different religions live and a country where arranged marriages are more common. Most of the country lives in their villages where traditions are strong and because of these traditions that are still alive, arranged marriages are considered more successful than love marriages as they are usually held in societies and cultures with a strong sense of the values of marriage.
It’s true that when you think of an arranged marriage, you imagine that how could anyone agree to spend their life with a complete stranger…how would that work? But regardless of the assumptions people have about arranged marriages, they tend to have a higher success rate. The reason is that in this type of marriage the main emphasis is NOT on love, sex and physical beauty, but because the spouses first get to know each other on a primal level, looking beyond trivial issues such as beauty or lack thereof. Couples have much more in common in terms of religion, origin, culture, caste and social status, which is very important for creating a strong foundation.
Having lived in India for 18 years and growing up in a joint family, seeing how successful my parents’ and other family members’ relationships were, I was a strong supporter of arranged marriages. From my point of view, it is the traditions that people follow in India that have kept the belief of arranged marriages alive. These traditions are not only important in laying a solid foundation for marriage settlement, but are also a major contributing factor in uniting two families and creating a stronger bond not only between the couple but also between family members.
On the other hand, love marriages focus more on and give more importance to the physical aspect of the relationship and are thus obsessed with love, beauty, etc. Physical attraction is important in any relationship, but it is not the only thing, because it gives importance to physical attraction that soon disappears, then there will be nothing left to build on. Also, in love marriages, the couple wants more independence and freedom, which can be a factor leading to the couple becoming distant from their relatives and other family members. Attending family events and observing certain traditions that require your presence can be an important factor in a successful marriage.
Also, arranged marriages are based on facts (TRUTH behind LOVE), integrity, ambition, humility and generosity. The mere thought of the humiliation of self and family is devastating for an Indian woman. This is the reason why, when in an arranged marriage, when the couple begins to open up, they will try hard to do so. And when arranged couples do learn to love each other, it most often leads to continued life; a permanent arrangement and it will rarely lead to a DIVORCE.
Arranged marriages are likely to be more successful than love marriages because while physical charm is transitory, friendships born of common bonds last forever. The truth is that you can LEARN to LOVE anyone you want, and whether you LOVE or not is YOUR decision.
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