Don’t fall prey to the victim mentality
Attitude is everything. Mental attitude, no matter what the end goal, either helps you get there or hinders your progress, and one of the most damaging attitudes anyone can adopt is a victim mentality.
What is a victim mentality?
A victim mentality is negative thinking. It places the blame on other people and circumstances for any inner unhappiness.“ This is the proverbial “point the finger” scenario.
Those who engage in a victim mentality view life through a narrow lens of pessimistic perceptions, believing that everything that happens in life is the result of external causes. Internal reflection is never considered. To be a victim is to let go of guilt. Nothing is their fault – ever! Those who engage in the victim mentality most often enjoy the attention, sympathy, and validation they receive by playing this “poor me” role.
When we are in the victim trap, the focus becomes how vulnerable we are, not how strong we are.
Although no one is born with a victim mentality, no one is exempt from the role of victim. Sweet older grandparents, loving, well-intentioned mothers and fathers, teenagers, and even those who consider themselves “spiritually awakened” can be found living in this realm of defeat.
In fact, every living person has played the role of victim more than once in their life.
Victims want to be mentally prepared for the worst, and unfortunately, for those living as victims, this self-sabotaging behavior becomes stronger when things seem to be going their way, as they are certain that “disaster will waiting around the next corner’.
So how does one break free from this self-defeating, “poor me,” pessimistic type of programming, most of which was developed and adopted as a child?
It all starts at home with your perceptions/how you see yourself. Do you see yourself as a survivor or a victim?
Survivors embrace life and run with it. They live in the present and are in control of their lives. They are fully aware that they alone are responsible for what is happening. They know that by taking responsibility for their lives, they are empowered to change their lives.
Victims, on the other hand, wallow in self-pity, argue with them, and push life away. They live in the past, believing they are powerless to change their circumstances – their key to avoiding responsibility. They live defensively and remain frozen in time without advancing because their perceptions tell them they are powerless.
The cost of a victim mentality is high. It negatively affects every sphere of life – professional and personal. Those who see themselves as failures live as victims because failure only comes to those who give up.
If we really want to get out of the victim mentality, we have to own it first. We cannot change what we do not own. We need to change our attitude and know that “change starts with me”. We must embrace survival and take steps…however small or insignificant they may seem now, towards some goal we seek to achieve.
Most importantly, we must continually empower ourselves with the statements of “I can” and “I will” and end the demeaning statements and beliefs of “I can’t” or “I won’t.”
And we must embrace gratitude – the greatest attitude. Every day we should take time to think about all the things that make us happy, all the things that are going well in our lives. Keeping our mind/energy focused on positive situations helps counteract the victim mentality.
After all, we must honor ourselves with the same degree of respect and love that we try to give to others. Only then will our minds and actions shift from victim mode to survival mode.
The truth is that we cannot control the actions of others or every circumstance that arises in our lives, but we can control how we react to them. We don’t have to be victims. It’s a choice. Whatever happens or happens, we should see it as a challenge, not an excuse.
Looking for a powerful partner to help you erase the negative victim tapes that play over and over in your head? Look no further than your local gym. Getting your blood flowing and your happy, feel good hormones going through challenging exercise is one of the best ways to overcome negativity, beat the victim mentality and put yourself on the fast track to feeling physically healthy , mentally and emotionally.
“You yourself, like everyone else in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”
– Gautama Buddha
The victim must realize that small changes in behavior and attitude can lead to big rewards.
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