How to tame a mad woman
Are you having problems with your wife or girlfriend and feel like she’s one argument away from an aneurysm? Does she yell and scream at the slightest provocation? Do you feel like she’ll never be happy and that she’s so crazy that you think you might just up and walk away?
If you feel this way, you are not alone. We’ve all heard of crazy women and I’m sure guys get together and all talk about wild arguments with tiger wives and how crazy their wives can get over the smallest incident.
But let me just say that Taming of the Shrew actually is It is so easy, you will be surprised. It’s about as easy as Adriana Lima getting a hard man. The key to calming her down and getting her back to loving you is all about treating her the right way AND do it FASTbefore it starts to boil.
During an argument, men want to take space to clear the air or think things over, but when a woman starts to get upset, you need to calm her anger quickly. Space and time to think make her getting out of control and in Crazyville.
Her madness is actually a plea for your love and help
The best way to get her out of her crazy place is to speak to her painnot for her anger.
Every “crazy” woman has dense center. In fact, I’d bet that the crazier the woman (I use crazy loosely here, if she really is crazy and suffers from mental illness, then that’s another article) the denser the center. Noisy explosive, hot-tempered, raging, tyrannical women are actually extremely sensitive and feel pain very intensely.
A woman acts crazy because she feels emotional inside survival mode. At that moment she feels something so strong inside that I would liken it to being pushed by a car in the middle of the desert and having nowhere to go. She feels abandoned and completely alone. In fact, I’ve talked to female clients who say that a man who leaves them emotionally hurts them worse than if he had just punched her in the face.
You could do something you thought was small – ditch her for the weekend or tell her you don’t think you’re ready for a commitment – but you could also tell her she’s unlovable trash. Yes, this is an extreme feeling for her.
Does the fact that she acts crazy mean she has low self-esteem? Not necessarily. What I would equate to her low self-esteem is more how YOU carry yourself in the relationship. If you are not an honorable, completely honest, giving, loyal and gentle man to her, then she has low self-esteem. Why? Because women with a healthy level of self-esteem only waste their time with good men. If you embody all of these great qualities and she continues to deal with you like a raging hyena all the time, I’d say she’s either mentally ill or you’re not aware of what she needs from you.
See, women need different things than men think they have. A man can follow all the right steps with a woman (buying her things, listening to her, making love to her, giving her sexual pleasure, making her laugh, etc.), but if he is not emotionally available to her (opening up, talking about commitment, expressing a desire to take care of her for a long time, inviting her into his life by revealing his secrets, staying in the room during an argument, etc.), then she may feel that he is not “safe”.
WOMEN NEED TO FEEL SAFE. If you get nothing from this article, know this much about us. By safe I don’t mean financially or spiritually, I mean emotionally. We need to feel that you won’t bail on us when times get tough, or hide parts of yourself from us, or make your need for validation from all women more important than your need to be loved exclusively by us . If we think you’re too worried about how other women see you, or that you place a higher priority on your “manly freedoms” than us, we’ll feel insecure with you.
How to tame a mad woman
The GOOD NEWS is that you can turn off her “craziness” in an instant. You can bring her back from 60 back to 2 in a matter of seconds. how? You should get in touch with your heart instead of trying to rationalize with the crazy monster part of her that throws the remote at your head. I repeat: STOP RATIONALIZING WITH HER.
Now, when I speak to her heart, I don’t mean stupid talk (“Honey, you know I love you. Why are you acting like this? I don’t want to hurt you, honey.”) Please don’t talk to her like you have any idea about a stallion who can sweet talk chicks. She will see through him. Even if he buys it, after a few days he will go crazy again. Why? Because you’re really not being sincere, you’re just telling her what she wants to hear.
To speak to a woman’s heart, you have to come from a truly loving place. You should be able to see a small, scared girl with pink tails and a pouty lip that’s underneath all that screaming. She is there, I promise you, and she is TERRIFIED and DESPERATE for your love.
Right now, imagine what your wife looked like as a little girl. How GORGEOUS was she? Was she stupid, stupid, shy, loud? Was she short, chubby, freckled or sassy? Take a moment to see her in your head and fall in love with this adorable little princess (or boy) who can give the devil his angel wings back with a toothless smile.
Do you feel that part of you right now that has a heart for her? Do you feel that part of you that wants to take care of her, protect her, hug her and kiss her tenderly? This feeling should be the springboard for your communication with her when she is on the verge of madness.
When she looks like she’s about to get angry: Look her in the eye, reach out to her (even if you have to get in her face) and tell her that she’s everything to you and that you’re sorry. You don’t have to apologize for your actions if you don’t think you were wrong, but my God, apologize for the way you made her feel.
Take it easy and touch her while sending her love with your eyes. She needs to know that you are listening (not with your ears, but with your FULL attention) and that you want to help her feel safe again. (She acts like a freak because she feels insecure).
Don’t talk to her! Talk to her like you KNOW she’s better than the way she acts, but that you’re not superior to her just because she’s over-emotional.
Then I want you to wait for her to contact you and calm down. She can keep screaming and yelling a few punches, but you have to stay with her and not give up on that little girl in her. IT IS YOUR OBLIGATION, as her man, to take care of that little girl in that raging woman and tend to her young, scared feelings.
You can still tell her to stop yelling, throwing things, blaming, etc. Be firm, be direct, but be an adult with this little girl. Once your “little guy” starts yelling back, calling her crazy, giving up on her, or destroying her– you’re lost its power. You have become infantile like her.
Be an honorable person
Alleviating a woman’s crazy anger won’t work if you only talk the talk and don’t walk the walk. You can’t speak to a woman’s heart and then turn to her the next day and treat her like an option, a doormat, a sex kitten, a baby mama, the biggest fan in your fan club of many, etc. .n. You have to treat her like…are you listening?…she cares your worth as a man in her heart.
She should be your priority, your confidant, YOUR safe place, your idol, your light at the end of the tunnel, your treasured savior angel, your ego boost. And I know right now you want to tie her to a tree and smear her with honey and leave her to a hungry bear, but if you can confidence to stop listening to her dark side that is in survival mode and start loving the little girl in her will change everything within days.
The beautiful thing about women is that if you make them feel safe in the ways I mentioned above, 9 out of 10 they will step up and be a safe place for you. They will keep all your secrets, keep your dreams alive and fill your life with light.
“Crazy” women (overly emotional and explosive) are no exception. In fact, Mad Women has a side that is gorgeous. Crazy women have a side to them that ADORES a man. Why? Because they are more infantile than other women (remember the little girl) and they see you as a daughter does a father— adoring eyes and radiant radiance of their being!
When your lady freaks out, remember that she is not targeting you, nor is she trying to hurt you. I know I feel that way; I know you think she’s some kind of sadist with a great set of tits, but her anger isn’t about you. It’s about what you’ve triggered inside her – she feels like she is fighting for his life. I know that sounds weird and dramatic, but it’s true. If you speak to her from the heart and really try to HEAR her pain and tell her that you are sorry and that you want to always take care of her feelings, she won’t know what to do. You will have saved her from herself. That’s how she’ll feel– like you came and saved her from herself like she was a minute ago. You will be her hero, even if you were the instigator.
*If you are being physically abused, please leave or seek counseling.
#tame #mad #woman