If a man cheats twice with the same woman, does that mean he loves her?

If a man cheats twice with the same woman, does that mean he loves her?

Sometimes I hear from wives whose husbands have cheated more than once. That’s bad enough. But sometimes he cheats with the same woman multiple times. I recently heard from a wife who said in part, “I was beyond devastated when I first found out about my husband’s affair. I knew the woman he was cheating with so that made it especially hard. But we stayed there and tried to do everything possible to save the marriage. He insisted that the other woman meant nothing to him and I thought we had made up. Fast forward eight months later. I found out that he immediately got back with the same woman and started seeing her again. I told my husband that he must obviously love this woman because he can’t seem to let her go. He insists he doesn’t and says his feelings for her are “complicated” but not love. He says that love is what he feels for me. I’m beside myself. How can he cheat on this woman twice (and probably still not let her go) and then claim he doesn’t love her? Because as silly as this sounds, I could handle cheating better if I believed he didn’t love her. But how can I believe this?” I will explore this further in the next article.

Many wives share the opinion of this one. Countless wives have confided to me that their husband being in love with the other woman is their greatest fear. Yes, physical cheating hurts, but emotional cheating is almost unbearable. Is it possible for a husband to cheat multiple times with the same woman and not love her? I believe it is sometimes and I will tell you why I feel that way.

Why is it sometimes possible for a man to cheat with the same woman several times and not love her: Before I start sharing my opinion, I have to tell you that I have no way of knowing how the husband really feels in this scenario. I don’t know this couple or the other woman involved. He may or may not have emotional feelings.

With that said, I do sometimes interact with men in this situation on my blog. I have also done a lot of research on this topic. I believe some men cheat because of how the other woman makes them feel, not because of how he feels about her. He often responds to the reward he receives. And that gain could be that she makes him feel attractive, accomplished, powerful, or confident, etc. In other words, if she can deal with the insecurities he’s struggling with for him and provide him with some relief, then often his “feelings” for her stem from the way she makes him feel better. good for yourself. In fact, if you ask that same man what he finds so attractive, irresistible, or appealing about the other woman, he usually won’t list or name considerations that have anything to do with her. He will often not tell you that she is a nice or good person that he admires.

The wife often assumes that he will talk about her appearance or other talents, but this is not always the case. What you’ll usually hear instead is something to the effect that she’s listening to him. She gets it. She doesn’t press him or question him. In other words, he feels some stress relief when he is with her. So he doesn’t necessarily come back again and again because of love for her as a person or partner. It can come back again and again out of self-love.

Understanding the most important issue: I totally understand that the fear that your husband might be in love with another woman is probably what’s driving you right now. But really the most important thing is that you still haven’t recovered to the point where he doesn’t repeat the same behavior. Because if he could successfully deal with what had brought him to her in the first place, he wouldn’t be as likely to come back again.

And sometimes this is his personal battle. You can support him in this, but you don’t have to fix it for him. You can strengthen your marriage and expose any individual issues, but he also needs to be willing to act on any vulnerability you find. So where does that leave the wife in this situation? Well, while I understood why she kept demanding answers about his love for this other woman, I didn’t think that continuing to ask the question really did her any good. Her husband would probably continue to deny any love, and frankly, in his own mind he might believe he was telling the truth.

The more important questions should be, is he willing to completely distance himself from this woman, work through all the issues that lead to the infidelity, and commit to his wife and his marriage? Because if he was able and willing to do that, and the marriage actually not only survived, but went from strength to strength, then at the end of the day, that other woman would really just be a footnote in this couple’s story. But by continuing to bring her up and demand answers about her, the wife was actually giving her more power and allowing her to re-enter.

The better thing to do is to try to remove her completely from the equation and make the marriage and restoration about the husband and wife and no one else.

#man #cheats #woman #loves

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