My husband says he doesn’t love me the same way he used to

My husband says he doesn’t love me the same way he used to

Sometimes I get emails from wives who ask me to translate for them what their husbands really mean when they either state directly or “drop” comments like, “I don’t love you the same way I used to” or “I don’t love you I don’t love you as much as at the beginning.”

Of course, back comments like these can cause a lot of anxiety and confusion. Is he saying he doesn’t want to get married anymore? Does he not find you attractive anymore? Is the spark gone and will it return or can it ever return? Or is he just projecting his frustrations in life or stress level onto you because honestly, who loves their spouse the same way they did when they first dated? That’s still an unrealistic expectation, isn’t it? I will address these concerns in the next article.

What a husband usually means when he says he doesn’t love you the same way he once did: Of course, hearing these words or insinuations can be a serious blow that immediately grabs your attention. No one wants to be told that they are being compared to days gone by and that they are short. I don’t want to downplay that. But I can tell you what husbands who find my blog tell me. They often say that their wife is scattered in a million different places and that there is simply no time for them anymore. She is stressed. She is distracted. She is borderline angry all the time. She treats him like one of her children or a task on her list rather than the husband she should want and love.

Please understand that I am not defending the accuracy of these perceptions. I know as well as you that they are probably not 100% accurate. But I’m sharing this with you because I want you to have an idea of ​​what you’re dealing with. And I want you to know that it is most likely not the feelings of love and affection that have changed. More than likely, his perceptions of your relationship (and his place in it) have become something that he really doesn’t like that much.

So where does that leave you? Hopefully, with the knowledge that you probably aren’t climbing as much as you think. It’s probably not that you’re unwanted or that he no longer finds you attractive. In fact, men often measure how they feel about the women in their lives by how the women make them feel about themselves. Think about this. When a man is “in love,” it’s usually because the woman has put him at the center of her world, thinks he’s the one for her, and puts his happiness at the top of her priority list. He makes her feel special, loved and unique. In turn, he feels that he is worth something, that he is able to cause all these reactions in you, so he must be doing something right. It makes him feel just as unique, just as special and just as attractive as you feel when you experience the same.

But now the level of attention and intimacy is less. So his perception of how he feels is reflected in that and also reduced. It’s the natural order of things, but it can be fixed and it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you or can’t love you the way he once did, it just means he’s no longer getting the rewards or responses that he once did. has received because the level of attention and the give and take have changed.

Changing his perceptions of his lack of feelings: First, you need to look at the benefits you have. I know you may not feel in an advantageous position right now, but you are. At least your husband still tries to communicate with you and still appreciates honestly. Many wives do not even understand this and are only told about this breakup of love after the husband is already thinking about divorce. So you have that advantage. Next, you probably have a very deep knowledge of what your husband values, what makes him react strongly, and what behaviors to avoid. Feel free to use this.

I’ve already defined what I believe is almost always at the root of a husband who thinks he’s changed his feelings for you (neglect and lack of intimacy), so your first job should be to address those things. You don’t have to tell him what you’re going to do. Still, it’s more effective to just show him. Really start looking at your marriage objectively and honestly process what you see. Change your focus and priorities so that your marriage and spouse jump to the top of your list.

That alone usually elicits at least some reaction. However, you shouldn’t go so far as to come across as desperate or insincere. Men generally don’t like to feel like they’re part of your game plan, so make sure your actions are coming from a genuine place and that you really want to take action that you decide to follow through on.

And don’t put too much pressure on yourself or your spouse. Don’t ask him repeatedly if he has changed his mind or how he feels now. When you start having success with this, you’ll know it because he’ll start to maintain more contact and intimacy. In general, you can literally feel the change in attitude so much that there is no need to wonder where his head and heart are. You already know how he behaves when he’s feeling tender and happy, so don’t annoy him by trying to pressure him.

Let things develop naturally. Just focus on doing lighthearted, fun things together that allow you to reconnect, expect more, and rediscover what you loved about each other in the first place. So many women will fear that because they are no longer young, thin and striking, their husbands will never feel the same way about them. This is simply not true. Men respond more to attention, affection, appreciation and understanding than anything else. They often tell me that they would rather have an average looking wife who appreciates them and makes them a priority than a woman who is terribly beautiful but ignores them or never makes time for them. Your enthusiasm, ability to make him feel good about himself, and your ability to make him feel appreciated and understood will probably go a lot further than you think.

#husband #doesnt #love

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