Problem with sex? No problem!

Problem with sex? No problem!

Sexuality is a gift that is meant to bring us intense pleasure and sweet intimate contact with each other. However, in our stress-filled society, sexuality can be fraught with anxiety, feelings of frustration, and our personal sense of shame and inadequacy.

  • You feel romantic, sensual, loving and erotic. Your partner is clearly in the mood. Your conscious mind, your prefrontal cortex, is telling you to just relax and enjoy. But something is wrong. Your body seems unresponsive. You don’t feel aroused.
  • You have contacted your partner. You hug, touch and caress each other. You feel so comfortable kissing and cuddling. Your partner takes your hand to lead you into the bedroom and your body instantly seems to shut down.
  • You reached the bedroom. Your partner looks so cool. You think about this moment for hours. Finally the moment has come. All you can think about is finding an excuse so you don’t have to deal with the embarrassment of not maintaining an erection (male) or being too dry and tense for penetration (female).
  • You have been with your partner for an hour. You have touched and kissed and enjoyed sexual intimacy. But now you’re either pretending to have an orgasm or making up some lame excuse about how wonderful it was, but you’re just so tired.

If any of the above situations sound familiar, you are not alone. When this little blue pill arrived, millions of men admitted to having erectile difficulties. Some got these pills from their doctors. Others found online sources. Some told their partners; others did not. And then scientists at big pharmaceutical companies began working feverishly to create a little pink pill in the hope of developing a huge female market to overcome “female sexual dysfunction.”

The real problem is the way we view normal sexual functioning as a problem. As men get older, they need more manual stimulation to get aroused, maintain arousal, and induce ejaculation. As women age and their hormone levels fluctuate, their vaginal tissues lose their elasticity and tone, and the vaginal walls become thinner and more vulnerable to tearing and soreness.

Medical conditions, such as diabetes and multiple sclerosis, can reduce arousal and actually damage the nerves that control orgasm. Hypertension, heart disease and chronic arthritis can certainly limit the feeling of freedom and pleasure in the sexual act.

Prescription drugs, alcohol, and some illegal recreational drugs are known to lower libido and interfere with healthy sexual functioning. Even some mild pain relievers, antidepressants, and anti-anxiety medications can have an antisexual side effect.

Finally, stress alone, without any of the other factors, can reduce libido, block arousal, and prevent the release of orgasm. Relationship stress or external factors that have nothing to do with the relationship (eg work, family, finances) can wreak havoc on hormonal balance and neuromuscular tension.

What can you do now to avoid or eliminate these potential sexual problems?

  • Communication, communication, communication – with the partner, with the sex therapist
  • Relax, release neuromuscular tension – with massage, jacuzzi, deep breathing
  • Fantasize, focus on your fantasy and let your mind take a break
  • Use lubricant, sex toys or even products to increase sexual arousal
  • Practice Kegel exercises, flexibility exercises, touch exercises and love exercises
  • Discover your unique sexual arousal pattern, your love map, and practice it
  • See a urologist or gynecologist for a full exam and evaluation

#Problem #sex #problem

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *