The worst retirement gifts you could ever give

The worst retirement gifts you could ever give

retirement. After endless years of the day job, it’s goodbye stress, hello retirement. No more lying to the boss about “that meeting” or “I-fell-down-the-stairs-and-broke-my-arm” excuses. Now is the time to kick off your shoes, turn on the TV and eat cake (and lots of it) because the entrance to the golden years is near.

If you know someone who is about to enter the endless coffee break experience, you’ll want to treat them to some traditional, contemporary and personalized retirement gifts.

Of course, we’ve all received a bad gift. Maybe it was that hand-knitted bird sweater from your grandmother that led to a quick beating on the playground. Maybe it was the re-gifted mug that said “Sarah” (your name is John).

Bad gift givers like to say that something is better than nothing. This is not true. So without further ado, here are some retirement gift ideas for men and women that you’ll want to stay the hell away from…

Re-gifted books. Most of us have been guilty of re-gifting at some point in our lives, but re-gifted books take the cake, especially if they still have that handwritten note to the original recipient. Repeat the mantra, “Re-gifted books = the most disgusting retirement ideas sometime.”

Cheap wine. If you’re going to give poor quality wine as a retirement gift, at least buy a decent bottle. What retiree – after god knows how many years of the 9 – 5 routine – would really appreciate vinegar-flavored wine?

Bathroom scales. Great. After all that hard work, this is what they get from their multi-million pound corporation – or you… god, thank you! Nothing says “you need to lose a few pounds” more than a set of bathroom scales. Note in mind: bathroom scales Do not make good, smart or funny retirement gifts.

Piggy banks. Hello? Piggy banks can be a great gift for kids, but not for a sixtysomething man or woman. Come on, is throwing their loose change in a piggy bank supposed to make them feel like a young, professional person capable of handling their money? I do not think so.

Retirement gifts with the wrong name or initials. Perhaps one of the most embarrassingly thoughtless retirement gifts for men and women are those personalized with the wrong name or initials. These are not gifts; they are more like insults with a bow on top.

Retirement gifts with a message. When you get the urge to buy a retiree a t-shirt emblazoned with “retired but not expired,” just keep walking. Unless the person you’re buying for is under the age of 16, chances are your verbose retirement gift will end up as a dust rag.

Instead of giving any of the above, why not welcome them into emancipating freedom with personalized retirement gifts? You folks can add the retiree’s name to your gift, as well as your own sassy farewell message. So maybe, “Welcome to being your own boss!” or “You’re way over the hill!” Okay, maybe not. The jokes that were funny at the 40th birthday party may not be so funny now.

#worst #retirement #gifts #give

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *