Tips for choosing a thoughtful sympathy gift
The grieving process can be as unique as a fingerprint. Each person brings to the journey their individual personality, their relationship with the deceased person, their religious/spiritual beliefs, their feelings about death and their life experiences. When it comes to choosing a thoughtful sympathy gift, one size does not fit all.
Finding the perfect sympathy gift to express your deep concern and provide the recipient with a lasting gift that honors the memory of their loved one is no easy task, but not impossible.
As you consider what could be a suitable sympathy gift for your loved one, here are a few things to keep in mind:
1. What are their religious beliefs? If they are religious, take a few minutes to look into the customs and norms of their religion. Some religions have specific beliefs about gift giving after the death of a loved one. If they are not religious, be sure to stay away from religious gifts that may offend them. Remember, this is the time to be supportive, not the time to push your own belief system.
Gift idea: I received a beautiful angel with a candle that includes Psalm 27:1 – The Lord is my light and salvation. This angel sits by my bed and reminds me that through life’s ups and downs I am not alone.
2. What are the circumstances? The cause of death and the significance of the relationship between your friend and the deceased are important factors to consider when choosing a sympathy gift.
Gift idea: A friend who has lost a pet might appreciate a step with the animal’s name on it to put in their garden. A mother grieving the loss of a child may welcome a thoughtful journal and personalized keepsake box with the child’s name inscribed on it. Sending flowers and being a good listener to a husband whose wife has been murdered can be the best way to offer your support.
3. What is their age? A grandmother may want a different type of gift than a friend in her twenties.
Gift idea: When my mother died, a good friend of mine gave me a book of Calvin and Hobbes cartoons. Life was so hard at the time, having something to make me laugh was just what I needed. I was 25 when I died and for me it was the perfect gift.
4. What is their gender? Gender plays a big role in the type of gift that is suitable. A male friend can enjoy golfing with you much more than a candle or a piece of jewelry.
5. What do they enjoy? Try to find activities that bring them joy and help them reconnect with life. A relaxing day at the spa, a nice afternoon at a baseball game, or a nice afternoon tea are just a few gifts you can share with your loved one.
Gift idea: A few weeks after my mom passed away, my friends took me on a trip to Disneyland. What a wonderful gift it was to help me bring joy back into my life.
6. Do they have any allergies or dietary restrictions? When choosing a food gift basket or if you are bringing food to the family, be sure to check if they have food allergies or are on a restrictive diet. You don’t want to buy a bottle of wine for someone who doesn’t drink. Or take peanut butter cookies to someone who is allergic to peanuts.
Gift idea: You don’t have time to cook, Sympathy Food can provide a wholesome nutritious meal to a grieving family.
7. Do they have pictures in their home or scrapbooks? If your friend likes to display memories in their home, a personalized picture frame or decorative scrapbook in which to store memories can be a valuable gift.
8. What type of book will reach them? If you’re choosing a book, consider your friend’s stage of grief. The first few months after a loss can be extremely difficult and you may find it difficult to concentrate. Books that are easy to digest and provide coping skills for people in similar situations may be best.
Gift idea: I received a very meaningful but simple book after my mother passed away called How to Cope with the Loss of Love.
9. Think outside the box. Gifts don’t have to be traditional; they can be as unique as your imagination.
Gift idea: When my friend Dan passed away, I couldn’t afford the last minute plane ticket to attend the funeral. A friend of reason paid for my ticket using his frequent flyer miles.
10. Offer your support. Some people don’t need or want trinkets, books, or movies; they just want a friend who will be there with a listening ear, a hug, and a warm heart.
Buying a special gift basket, inspirational book, personalized picture frame, memorial ornament, or sending flowers to a grieving loved one can brighten their day and lift their spirits during a difficult time.
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